Creatures of the AQ, Part 2

In Princeton, your meal options are limited when your income is equivalent to the average dry cleaning bill. Thankfully we have a place called Olive's that serves up goodness when you want to escape the cereal, canned beans, and mac n cheese diet. (I don't like to cook so I eat almost exclusively at Olive's, basically my USOC funding direct deposits into their cash registers). But we'll save Olives for later, this is about the CREATURES.

Today I wanted to go to Olive's like always, but I thought it might be nice to have some company so I strolled down to my good friend Ox's room.

Ox is a polarizer. Just like the Oakley lenses he wears 24/7. Some people think he's being mean, and sometimes they're right...too bad for you stop being soft. Ox seems to have a very strong opinion about everything too. His opinions are so strong, they'll beat the crap out of your opinions even if they are the same, so don't try and argue. Also he drives a Prius, which is a great eco-friendly mode of transport to Olive's .

I was trying to motivate Ox to stop watching Nip Tuck on his iPhone and leave for Olive's when something foul blasted my nostrils. I knew that burnt diaper smell could only originate from one place.

That's right, Chuck. Chuck is Ox's roommate and a very nice guy. A very nice guy who's dirty laundry smells like regurgitated cheese. He also might be the smartest guy I know, but odor control clearly was not part of his Yale education. Once he's sold his tutoring business for millions of dollars, I'm going to make him hire a laundry service or install a clothes incinerator.

Regardless of his smell, Chuck is da bomb, but he couldn't join us at Olive's because he was busy makin deals. So, I scanned the basement for one of my favorite creatures.

Everyone seems to have their own reason, but they agree that the Big Soft is an aptly named fellow. Ladykiller might be the only better way to describe him. His pouty lips are every woman's (and gay man's) dream and to top it off he shows his sensitive side 100% of the time. Basically when Justin Bieber hits puberty he will transmogrify into a Big Soft.

Sadly instead of spending all of his time slaying chicks sensitively he usually has his headphones on listening to emo rock at a moderate volume. So he couldn't hear my invitations to join Ox and I at the fine Olive's institute of dining. I knew what I was in for so I left all my opinions at the AQ and enjoyed a zesty salmon dinner. Tomorrow will be another day with the Creatures of the AQ...